Self-handicapping: Please pardon grammatical lapses and even seemingly unfounded assertions. Would correct them upon your notice. Thank you.
It has nearly been three decades since Martial Law, and nearly three days since I decided to Martial Law my self into logging into social networking sites (sns). As I predict at this point of the feel of spontaneity that this blog entry would be lengthy because this has been one of the longest weekends that I have encountered in my life, my knees still feel weak after the incident--by weak, I meant physical exhaustion. Leave the emotional fatigue to my sister. Leave the tension and the stress to those who have lost their loved ones, because of de-facto Martial Law-ing people impose on one another. This is Martial Law commemoration, after all--this time, by Martial Law, I meant Macoys's and Gloria's, and the next attraction that is to come.
Sunday morning began all the disappearances--shallower, of course, than enforced disappearances that I would also attempt to discuss later. At about ten o'clock in the morning, I lost the chance to engage myself in a workshop with Iyas co-fellows Rhodge and Shane. Because I have lost contact to the outside world, since my phone cannot send text messages, for some odd reason. I decided to wait for them until eleven thirty. Neither shadow nor any presence of them, but Rhodge's sms asking me where I am--and I should extend my very sincerestestestest thanks to the communications network for doing their job of letting me receive messages, though their service of allowing me to send messages came later in the afternoon. Anyway, I decided to attack the bargain bin of National Bookstore (NBS), at the Manila International Bookfair (MIBF), while hoping that my co-fellows would eventually appear. I even went outside the MIBF a couple of times to check if they have arrived. Then, I received an sms telling me that they would be off to Shang-rila's Cine Europa filmfest--something that I'd rather not talk about since the said filmfest have ruined my other Sunday, because of two incredibly lame films--and two tripping friends that *some text missing*.
I then continued my bargain bin rampage at the NBS, and saw Possession by A.S. Byatt that costs cheaper than half the student price of an Alabang-Elbi bus ride. Since I left my wallet at home and my parents would arrive after an hour or two, I hid Possession and thought, "I'll let you go, for now, if you are still there later, then it means you are mine, okay?" And Possession was not mine. I am still upset every time I remember that impractical moment of ignoring the possibilities, very likely possibilities that bibliophiles were out there, lurking for anything valuable that they can snatch at an unbelievably low price. Stupid, eh? Shoot me in the head. And I'll shoot back.
Sunday morning began all the disappearances--shallower, of course, than enforced disappearances that I would also attempt to discuss later. At about ten o'clock in the morning, I lost the chance to engage myself in a workshop with Iyas co-fellows Rhodge and Shane. Because I have lost contact to the outside world, since my phone cannot send text messages, for some odd reason. I decided to wait for them until eleven thirty. Neither shadow nor any presence of them, but Rhodge's sms asking me where I am--and I should extend my very sincerestestestest thanks to the communications network for doing their job of letting me receive messages, though their service of allowing me to send messages came later in the afternoon. Anyway, I decided to attack the bargain bin of National Bookstore (NBS), at the Manila International Bookfair (MIBF), while hoping that my co-fellows would eventually appear. I even went outside the MIBF a couple of times to check if they have arrived. Then, I received an sms telling me that they would be off to Shang-rila's Cine Europa filmfest--something that I'd rather not talk about since the said filmfest have ruined my other Sunday, because of two incredibly lame films--and two tripping friends that *some text missing*.
I then continued my bargain bin rampage at the NBS, and saw Possession by A.S. Byatt that costs cheaper than half the student price of an Alabang-Elbi bus ride. Since I left my wallet at home and my parents would arrive after an hour or two, I hid Possession and thought, "I'll let you go, for now, if you are still there later, then it means you are mine, okay?" And Possession was not mine. I am still upset every time I remember that impractical moment of ignoring the possibilities, very likely possibilities that bibliophiles were out there, lurking for anything valuable that they can snatch at an unbelievably low price. Stupid, eh? Shoot me in the head. And I'll shoot back.
Mine wasn't that much of a loss, compared to that of my sister's. But hers was more nitwitted, to say the least of how my initial thoughts went. She lost an iTouch--a type of those 'cool' and 'hip' gadgets that I never cared about, or even thought of buying. People are People was the where of the crime. We wanted to go home after the MIBF spree, save for my sister who wanted to shop for clothes. I still preferred ukay-ukay that might be under taxation anytime soon, so I wouldn't buy clothes anymore at that anytime soon. To make the long six-hour story a minute short, so, in a nut shell, the thief was caught both in the cctv camera and at the prison cell she calls home, since she had been caught for theft at least twice, before this case, as the police gossip went. But the gadget was not retrieved, so the only evidence we have was the cctv video clip. There has been a hearing yesterday, and up until now, the thief remains in jail. A subpoena would be issued later. Seems familiar, for me, but back then, I was the one receiving notices of hearing because of douchebag students who filed trumped up charges to the Student Disciplinary Tribunal, that caused my suspension. I heard a rumour though that 'they' would soon face court charges. And I hope and sincerely pray it comes sooner than I can say hooray. ANYWAY,
the suspect. Theft case concerns the Police, since it is private property that they are to serve and to protect. The case of Morong 43, the Desaparecidos, et al ONLY concerns human rights anyway--something most of the police consider insignificant, for the sake of "serving and protecting," as their tagline goes. The theft case, however, still has the stench of the rotting system as the thief seems like a member of an organized crime group, as she seems to have a "backer" of some sort.
My sister's wasn't much of a loss, though she cried then and there at the hip store of clothes upon noticing the absence of the gadget she (and her boyfriend or whoever gift-ed that, that high tech thing) saved for. Until now, under this same old same old administration with a new bald face, UP students Karen Empeno and Sherlyn Cadapan remains unsurfaced. If I got pissed upon the 'loss' of an AS Byatt, and my sister broke into tears upon the loss of this thing called iTouch, what more emotional tension could the mothers, the immediate families, friends and colleagues of the Disappeared (Desaparecidos) feel? Where is James Balao? How about Jonas Burgos? There are also those who were abducted and illegally detained during Marcos's Martial Law, and still a lot during Gloria's that remain unsurfaced. Way back then, there was the Tagaytay 5. The Morong 43 Healthworkers are sill imprisoned. And UPLB remains an armed garrison, as Riza Jimenez-David once called it. Current UPLB [P]erspective editors and staff could perhaps attest to this, as there were observations on the "security" of Student Union building, where the [P] holds office.
Notice that victims of enforced disappearances, the illegally detained and even victims of political killings--that this blood-stained administration blindly deems as personal conflicts--did not commit any crime. But they were treated worse than the iTouch thief who went with the name 'Patricia.' There were a lot of gossip-like talk from the policemen (manly, indeed) when we were at the precinct. One of them, the SP04 I think ranted something like, "That would not suffice for an evidence. Remember Erap was jailed because of evidence," against a higher ranked someone who thinks he is someone that could present insufficient evidence and get away with it. Of course he did not say it in English, as I saw in their whiteboard the face of dwindling and plummeting quality of education: "Kindly observed day-offs," and "Always observed the (...) bihis rule," the whiteboard decrees. They did not observed (sic) though that Gloria was not arrested despite strong evidences of her criminal activities against the People, that their SOPS do not really apply on VIPs, and that their SOPs included planting evidences especially when they believe that 'this is it!' or the suspect is 'it,' and the acquired evidences would not suffice. Remember red-tagging, more often than not, is a 'this is it!' moment for them. That particular policeman, who admitted the reality of their 'planting evidences' to convict the suspect, was of a lower rank than the SP04. He also said something like "Because of the crisis, they (suspects) have no other choice." I remained silent, of course. With the way I look like, engaging in that conversation that seemed like a bait, would be excessive carelessness, if not stupidity.
The prison was surely a hellhole. These past three days were. All things I thought I knew, went down the drain, and I would have to think, rethink and "rewire," as Leonard Susskind uses the word in my current reading, "The Black Hole War." The loss of Possession, iTouch and Desaparecidos obviously varies in certain degrees--as the former, Possession and iTouch, are private properties and the police of course vows to protect those, which is why they, seemingly enough, are eager to pursue the case of iTouch theft, while the latter, however, does not concern private ownership and the police most probably know who the perpetrators are and they cannot go against the perpetrators without getting themselves into trouble. (cluttered, I know. Apologies.) More so, the first is in the possession of a bibliophile, the next is either with the accomplice/s of the thief or the consumer at Quiapo, Recto or similar places, while the last ones are probably either in the custody of the military / police, or in the point of no return--which seems like the case as of today, though there can be no certainty and uncertainty is more disturbing, especially for the families of the Disappeared.
^Kiri Dalena's Public Service Announcement.
^Kiri Dalena's Public Service Announcement.
At the moment, I would like to suggest two ways to know further of the heavier degree of loss c/o the Reactionary, than that of the gadget into the void and beyond the blackhole of the lumpen proletariat, as Marx would call them. Desaparecidos and extrajudicial killing victims of the two Martial Laws, one in the lifetimes of my generation, the other our parents', may be collectively commemorated in at least two ways: the local demonstration / mob program in the streets, or the nationwide screening of Sigwa in theatres / cinema houses. You may also opt to form discussion groups, read books, or do something at your capacity and ability to remind your self of the nightmare that is the Martial Law Years. On a lighter note, I would remain under self-ML, here at the point of no return. SNS are counterproductive--at least for me, if you are a multi-tasker, since I am not (anymore). Would log-in to facebook, formspring, twitter, as soon as I feel I have polished three drafts that I ought to finish. Maybe, at the beginning of the month or later. Would also return to Elbi at the soonest time possible. Good morning.
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